Starting and running my own company has been a dream of mine since I was a child. It has been the dream — you know what I mean — everyone has the dream. The one for which every choice in life is measured by whether it takes you 1 step closer or farther.
Is wanting something enough to make it right, for you?
Yes, I could open a small business and check the “entrepreneur” box off my list, but that’s not the point. I don’t want the label, I want the achievement of conjuring something enormous into existence, something I manufactured in my mind, something other people find useful.
I have always been inspired by incredible skills and accomplishments. I love seeing people focus on a goal, struggle against all odds and succeed wildly. I admire those people. I want to be those people.
But, I probably never will. I am slowly coming to accept that I’m a terrible entrepreneur. Not because I don’t have the skills, the drive or the resources to succeed… not for lack of effort over the years… but because my personality is too flexible and my life is too comfortable.
I am motivated to acquire all the tools needed to succeed (in fact, I may enjoy the idea of acquiring tools more than actually using them). I want to know everything. I want to do everything. That’s all great, but it’s not enough.
They say the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. In that case, what is the opposite of hate? I think the opposite of hate is acceptance.
Great entrepreneurs become great because they create change and change doesn’t come from acceptance. Change requires the opposite of acceptance.
Change requires hate.
The greatest entrepreneurs are driven not by love or ambition, they are driven by an internal demon that compels them to change something they hate about the world in some fundamental way.
If you accept the world, why would you change it?
The side effect of too much stability in my life, my mind and my soul is that I have exorcised all hate from my heart, and by doing so, accidentally sabotaged my dream.
And you know what the most ironic part of this entire story is? I think I’m okay with it.